We are all about the love at Flofinder. There are instances, however, where the level of love you receive from someone is a bit much….
At work, this level of love will likely originate from that one colleague that really adores you i.e. the Clingy Work Friend. You will normally recognise when you have a Clingy Work Friend (that is what makes them clingy) but here are some signals if you are still confused:
- They want to speak to you all the time (i.e. your Skype/Messaging Service is constantly active).
- They will make sure to ask you out for lunch every day.
- They actively try to get on the same project as you and will bounce back from every rejection.
- They always ask you what you are doing after work in the hope that you can hang out together.
They may also partake in some extra creepy behaviour such as liking an abnormally large amount of your Insta/FB photos but let’s keep it PC for now. To support you in stabilising this relationship we have listed 5 tips below.
1. Switch Lunches With Coffees
Dealing with the Clingy Work Friend is all about limiting time spent. Cutting them off would be too harsh as you may like some aspects of their personality (go ahead with the cut-off if you don’t actually like them), therefore look for simple ways to reduce the time spent with them where possible. An easy one to start with is switching their daily lunch requests with quick coffee breaks. You are still spending time with them whilst keeping your lunch hour free, it’s a win-win.
2. Increase Your Skype/Messenger Response Time
Most of us are constantly dealing with a barrage of messages through the various communication channels. A constant presence in these channels will likely be your Clingy Work Friend. To help relieve some of the difficulties you may be having in dealing with the mountain of messages you can simply decide to delay your response time. A tiered response model as per the example below may be your best course of action during these periods.
- (Highest Priority) – Urgent work related comms
- Non-urgent work related comms
- Food options for the day
- General office chit-chat
- Clingy Work Friend
3. Encourage Them To Run Solo
The Clingy Work Friend wants to do everything together. As cute as this may be, it is a huge drain on your time and resources. To help resolve this you can encourage your friend to do more things independently by highlighting their stronger skills i.e. go for the cheeky ego boost. This should give them the confidence to tackle more things independently and reduce the amount of time you spend holding their hand through the workday.
4. Introduce Them To Some New Faces
Your Clingy Work Friend may not have many other people to talk to (which could be the reason for the clinginess) and this is something which you can resolve fairly easily by introducing them to some new people. Your friend may just need a little push to speak to others on the team. If all goes well they will shift from following you everywhere to following multiple people everywhere which isn’t the perfect solution but it is progress.
5. Last Resort – Talk It Out
It is no secret that we hate confrontation in the UK, it just isn’t our thing. Nevertheless, if you are facing a life of being physically and emotionally stuck to your Clingy Work Friend then it is most probably best for you to sit down with them and talk it out. There are various approaches to this from the soft ‘I just need some more time to focus on my work’ to the ‘get the f**k out of my life you begfriend’ – it depends on the situation and your personal preference.
Final Thoughts
The Clingy Work Friend creeps up on you – they seem innocuous until you are locked in to be their BFF for life. No need to panic though, use some of the methods above to normalise the relationship. At the end of the day, they are just people who need some love but not too much.
Until next time,
Nathan
Agree/Disagree? Drop a note in the comments below.
Nathan Ranamagar is the founder of flofinder.com and an ex-Deloitte consultant. He is an advocate of workplace transparency and The Golden Lovers (Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi).
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