When accepting a job offer, the human/social aspect is often overlooked. Because we deal with other human beings throughout our lives, and due to the fact that it is an inevitable way of living, we tend to accept that the human relationships at workplaces are out of our control.
Yet, we are social animals and the quality of our work lives will be hugely influenced by the people surrounding us. In this two-part series, we will explore almost all types of relationships you will build in the workplace. We will cover who they are, how to identify them, how they develop into each type, how to best utilise or avoid them and what the true impact of these relationships is to your work life and beyond.
Part I of this series will explore the relationships involving larger population size:
- Office Acquaintances: the occasional “Hi’s and Bye’s”
- Task Force: those who you work closely with
- Circle Of Trust: your gang of close friends
- Office Acquaintances
In your first few weeks on the job, almost everyone is in this category – it means that they can fall into any other categories to follow depending on how you interact with them. They can become your best friend in the next couple of months or forever remain the mutual office ghost.
The best way to interact with these people is to say “Hi” when you see them for the first time in the morning and say “Bye” at the end of the day. This will one day extend to “Coffee break?” or “Would you like to come to my wedding?”. All my great colleagues, including the best of friends I’ve met at work, were initially in this category. So don’t be shy and embrace the possibilities!
However, don’t be disheartened if, despite your ample efforts, your relationship with someone does not develop into other more desirable categories in this article. Sometimes it is just not meant to be. In fact, most people in your office will remain in this group – you will eventually focus your time and effort on those who you mutually click with and you are better off having quality relationships than focusing on quantity.
2. Task Force
The “Task force” includes those who you work most closely with, whether you work within a permanent unit made up of a few people or in project-based teams that dissolve and re-group within a larger pool. These people will have a profound impact on your development and performance. This category of people can include your engagement lead, line manager and junior team members you train up. The relationship is mutually beneficial. You will develop your skills and learn mostly from these people and so will they from you. It is therefore important to sustain a steady and professional relationship with your task force through clear communication and genuine rapport. This doesn’t necessarily mean they will be your friends but through this category of people, you will learn the true value of trust and integrity at work.
Conversely, most of your work life conflicts will stem from these people and this is something that we all need to accept. Because you are spending most of your working hours together, reporting to one another and rating each other’s performance, disagreements of work styles and personality clashes are common.
The way to deal with your task force is to present your most professional self. Bring your knowledge and hard work to the table and add maximum value, but at the same time, be diplomatic when being assertive or compromising. Even if your task force is in other closer categories to follow, it is essential not to mix up the professional/personal boundaries. If they happen to be your best friend at work, take your personal buddy time outside of working hours. It will only help prolong a strong working relationship with them.
3. The Circle Of Trust
As you start to build closer relationships at work, you will find yourself in a group of like-minded people. This group could be made up of your peer group, your team-mates, or most commonly, a mixture of various people you get along with. Size can vary but a complete circle will require a minimum of three people. The biggest circle I have seen in my career involved over 10 people – however, smaller circles are often formed within large circles. You stick with your circle at workplace socials to the point where all of your drunken memories will involve them. With time, the circle will evolve into a safe sharing environment, where mutual trust is in place – as, without a doubt, each one of you will experience workplace stress and will come to share news to one another. This will snowball and the circle will eventually hold many closely guarded secrets that you are all trusted to keep.
Once you have your own circle of trust, you are in safe hands. Even on the most terrifying day, these people will keep you sane and remind you that you will survive. Sometimes they will be the sole reason you pick yourself up to go to work. Most days, they will annoy you with lame jokes and you will appear disinterested on the surface. However, on the inside, you are laughing uncontrollably in fits and bursts, wholeheartedly ashamed. When you are obsessing over petty things at work, they will listen to you but also help you come back to your senses. Collectively, they will be the voice of reason and help you make important decisions. Likewise, you will need to do the same for them: it is that simple yet arduous.
There may be fallouts with a few people here and there either due to break of trust or leaking secrets outside of the circle. These fallouts may happen between two individuals or one against the rest of the circle. It will provoke inevitable debates, either behind closed doors or in an open forum format, and whichever side you are on, such conflicts will impact you and everyone within the circle. The outcome will vary depending on the severity of the conflict and it may result in some people leaving the circle. However, with experience, the circle will only grow stronger and closer with those who remain. Depending on how the circle evolves, you could also always consider adding new members, for greater assurance and support.
Thanks for reading Part I of the series of “Being Human In The Workplace”. In the second part of the series, we will cover more intense interactions experienced between you and one other individual:
4. Office Enemy: the unfortunate nemesis
5. The OC (Office Crush): the mermaid that brings rainbow
6. Office BFF/Soulmate: your best friend at work
Speak soon,
Zoe
Zoe is the pseudonym of an ex-Big4 consultant who lives in London. After leaving the professional services firm, she now works in industry, maintaining a healthy work/life balance and spending more time on her hobbies (painting and baking) and general catching up with life.
COMMENTS